On account of a tiny nail

Tiny Nail

We just returned from "Zorba" festival in the Israel Desert Ashram.
It is a piece of jewel in the Southern Neggev Desert. Green oasis
with several houses and a huge spirit of love.
We have been conducting festival workshops there for several years now,
since the early days when the place was less known and intimate.
Many things have changed since. The social structure and members, some
of the facilities, even the size of the festivals which are around
10 times larger now.
One of the things that haven't changed since, is a tiny nail.

In a secluded corner at the bottom of the blue painted doorpost in the men's rooms, there is a tiny nail.
Half out, protruding - it has always been there.
In the early days it used to bother me (Ben), thinking of what will happen
if anyone bumps into it, but along the years it turned into an icon, a symbol
of a stable, never changing thing there, at the Ashram.

Funny, but real - every time I used to sit in the men's rooms and see it,
I would think of Tantra and the issue of our attachment to things.
Every time anew, I would think that if anyone ever comes and pulls this
tiny nail out, or hammer it in, it will not be the same Ashram anymore.
:-)

Tantra and Non-Attachment

Tantra is a vast paradigm which places a great importance on expansion.
One of the meanings for the word Tantra in Sanscrit, ancient Indian, is expansion.
Grasping this issue of expansion is a lot deeper than many understand it to be.
To really understand it (and understand what has it got to do with attachment), one must fully understand the principle of the one.
Tantra (among some other streams of thought), teaches that all is one.
We (not only people, but the entire creation) are one with the creator.
The basic idea is that the creation, as the creator, is whole and complete, yet, constantly expanding through spiritual growth and enhancement.
This is an exalted and unique concept which teaches us that the creator expands through us, through our spiritual empowerment, since we are all one with the creator.

People are habitual creatures. Some of our habits and patterns are positive.
Our habits protects us from the bombardment of information and tasks that we meet everyday.
Every seemingly simple task is made up of a wealth of actions, decisions and sensual information streaming at us.
When we develop a pattern, a habit, we manage to deal with this wealth of stimuli.
Think for instance, how many automatic activities we perform while driving.

But patterns and habits also affix us in place.
They actually drive us in many cases, to lose our free will.
Many times, our habits are so strong that we become controlled by them!
Attachment is an acute form of a pattern or a habit.

Tantra teaches vigorously the topic of breaking away from patterns - non attachment.
The basic idea is that sticking with an object, a person, a behavioral habit, a thought, prevent a person from the freedom to expand. They form an inner noise and imbalance.

To be expanded and expand the creation - the creator, we must let go of this attachment.

Attachment and Dependency

When we are attached to anything, we are in dependency.
Dependency is a limiting factor which we want to avoid.
A person is born dependent - physically, mentally, socially and emotionally.
When we grow, we gradually get rid of most of our dependencies, each in their own pace.
Easier to rid off is physical dependency. It is also the easiest to handle.
If a grown up person becomes, god forbid,  physically dependent, it is still workable.

Mental dependency comes next. We grow and learn stuff rapidly.
Our brain in early years can absorb tremendous amounts of knowledge and relatively quickly we lose most of our mental dependency.

The social-emotional dependency is another story. It is a dependency which is hard to get rid of. There are many, who even in their adult life, remained dependent to some level.
This dependency causes much grief!

When we attach to an object, a person, habit or thought, we are dependent, mainly emotionally.
This dependency expresses itself substantially once something changes in the relevant surrounding.
When something we're emotionally dependent on changes, great suffering is caused.

Think for instance, what many go through, when they (or even worse someone else) break by accident a precious or beloved object. The end of the world has come...
Irrational emotional eruptions spoil the beauty of the moment and break relationships.
Instead of being appreciative and grateful for the service of the object up to its breaking point, one gets all gloomy and feeling down for a while.
Instead of taking it easy, saying something like "Oh well, the time has come...", an emotional eruption leaves behind anger and emotional deposits.

Sticking with an object is easiest to deal with and is handled in many cultures. For instance, in the Jewish tradition, when a plate or a glass breaks everyone calls "Mazal-Tov" (Good blessings). In the Greek Taverns there used to be a custom to break plates as a sign of happiness and gratitude.

Colored Sand Mandalas

Practicing Non-Attachment is very important. It is being taught in Zen Buddhism and many other spiritual practices.
Buddhist monks practice drawing Mandalas with colored sand.
Mandala is a complex Sacred geometric drawing, based on a circle, with many spiritual meanings.
A group of monks assigns itself a mission to draw a Mandala on a surface.
The drawing is sketched in a precise manner.
Then, the patterns are being filled with colored sand.
The work is very strict, precise, meditative and lasts several weeks.
When the mandala is complete, it is being dismantled in a special ceremony.
During the ceremony, the sand is being spread in the near river. Establishing and dismantling of the mandala is an effective practicing of Non-attachment.
The dismantled mandala symbolizes the temporariness of life.
The highest Non-attachment which may be practiced is to life itself.

Attachment to a Partner.

It is so easy to understand why people who are starting their developmental path, look at us with eyes wide open, sort of asking "Are you serious?", when we invite them in our workshops to work with other partners.
One of the most intensive attachments we have is to a partner.
With our partners we form the strongest behavioral patterns.
So many people treat their partners through attachment and emotional dependence.
When they allow themselves as partners to break these patterns, to use the opportunity and work with others, they arrive at a new, empowering place.
Partnerships based on total emotional independence are extremely powerful and effective.
Many are being managed by the fear of "What if my partner will leave me?...".
This is a conduct of closure and contraction while we are actually looking for the broadening.
One who attains Non-attachment with a partner is far more open to Love and acceptance.
Couples who attain that gain an enormous empowerment since their conduct is broad and fearless.

Freedom from attachment to society and ideas.

We also live with many social patterns which are not always good for us.
Society outlines many ideas to which we are attached.
Mostly, we are attached to these ideas with total lack of awareness.
It is difficult for us to see that we are not based on total conceptual freedom.
Again - Tantra is a concept of Total freedom and expansion.
Tantra teaches us to practice Non-attachment to social concepts.
The most powerful way to teach this is to encourage the testing of boundaries.
It is actually sort of an inner rebellion.
Rebellion against the limitations which are imposed by the society and to whom we are attached.

We often see in our work how hard it is for people to really let go of various social ideas, especially those who deal with body image, morality, sexuality...
One who practices Non-attachment to social concepts gains an enormous freedom.
He/She has a much greater ability to "think out of the box",
or better, as we like saying, living with no box at all!
Naturally, such freedom affects not only body image or sexuality.
It also affects business management, creative conduct, entrepreneurship abilities, relationship with family and society and many more areas of life.

Where have we come to, from a tiny nail.

Study yourselves carefully and bear in mind that attachment is a form of slavery and we are all freedom seeking beings.
So start working on yourselves.
You don't want to walk 40 years in the desert like the sons of Israel...
:-)